its not too late

ahhhhh today, getting organised can give me a headache...and indeed i have one, but thats because im eeeeeel and not cause we booked up a frenzy today and whipped our butts into gear and got all crazy and actually thought about the last month and not just "yeah, we'll wing it when we get there, maybe spain, maybe berlin...whatever". we are locked in and we are seriously ready to go now and right this second its a nice feeling. i must say, this feeling may be prone to change at any second now [it seems to be the fashion in my head at the moment].

for those of you who have never left everything and pretty much everyone you know and who are your security and your comfort for awhile, let me tell you> its a very strange feeling preparing yourself to do so. all i can tell you from my own personal experience is its very emotional because even though you may not necessarily want to stay put, its hard to know you cant fall back on your home or friends, your every day life is going to change in most ways...your a time difference and a hell of a lot of miles away from it all.

my dad once told me that "you can run away all you like ang, but your problems will always follow you, so its better to deal with them before you go". I dont think i have enough luggage allowance for emotional baggage so im trying to sort myself out before i go...but yet i dont see any other way of leaving some things behind without actually leaving. this country, this place, this mind at times. it might be time for me to learn this lesson for myself? i guess i dont have any choice do i?

mums being very secretive about tomorrow night...she wont tell me whats going on but has made references that something is going on. hope its fun!! naive just came onto my ipod and it reminds me of dancing on the chairs when we first moved into the little house of dreams, such wonderful, awsome times.

i have a mozzie bite on my face :( its itchy and i want it to go away asap.

i want people to write me letters for the plane; light-hearted, serious, happy, deep, shallow, naive and childish letters. it doesnt matter what they contain but it would really make my day and it might take my mind of this confusion!

do it, eh, do it.